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Jul 21, 2008

Have you been?

From my NBFF, Peggy:


1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name. It is 'FEE-NICKS'.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00pm . Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered 'wussy'.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley , SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone...ever! Seriously! It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the 'I-10' are the same road. SR-202 is the same road as The Red Mountain FWY. Dunlap and Olive are the same street, too. Jefferson becomes Washington , but they are not the same street. I-17 is also called The Black Canyon Freeway, as well as, The Veterans Memorial Highway, and if all that isn't enough to remember, SR-51 has recently been renamed Piestewa Freeway because Squaw Peak Parkway was too easy to pronounce. SR-101 is also the Pima FWY, except west of I-17, which is also The Black Canyon FWY, and The Veterans Memorial HWY, west of I-17, it is known as the Agua Fria FWY. Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd., but Cactus Rd. does not become Thunderbird Rd. because it dead-ends at a mountain.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally activated.'

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off' accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.

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7 peanuts say:

Speedcat Hollydale said...

I better get some new tires!

grottynosh said...

Hiya Chuck...how are you sweetie?
I think I'll give 'FEE-NICKS' a miss lol, rush hour sounds much like London, but the maximum speed on the motorways in and out is barely faster than a snails pace...and that's on a good day!
Take care sweetie and have a great day,
*lovies n smoochies*
Colin from Life & Free PC Security

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Sounds like Los Angeles (pronounced Mexican style) driving if you ask me. Very funny pal. Have a great day. Big hug and lotsa lovies little chicken. :)

rmgales said...

Sounds like traffic in Washington, DC, lol.

storyteller said...

Yez ... I've been to Feenicks, Arid-zona many times. My brother lived there for YEARS and I have a friend there now ... but I prefer to have THEM visit ME at the beach ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

Sandy C. said...

What a gorgeous skyline! I've never been to there, but it sounds very similar to Los Angeles :)

Travis said...

HA! I've only been to Phoenix once to go to a baseball game. I didn't do the driving that day, but I did notice that 90% of the drivers were offensive and aggressive rather than defensive and timid.

I'd fit right in.