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Since October 2007

Oct 21, 2007

Coming Out on Why I'm Writing My Book!

I went to a toe reading this weekend. I know, odd. After learning she is not a psychic, I became especially appreciative of her abilities. (Note: if you are interested in internal and external relationship healing and want to learn more about Martha, who performed the reading, go here: Mind and Body Wellness Practitioner, Insights for Life -- Creating new beginnings. Really, so appropriate for this post!) Not only was she extremely helpful in opening up my eyes on some deep-seeded issues, but, I got to meet some new lady friends too, all off-the-charts sweet and friendly.

For the first time since I began writing my memoir, I spoke out amongst strangers and revealed my hidden secret (that I'm writing about being a ward of the state). I also expressed my desire to have them share with me my scribbling journey (by viewing this blog) as well as the final publication upon completion (I don't know what came over me). Cheers to all my readers who do the same.

Once I explained the crux of the book, one woman asked me why it was embarrassing to be in foster homes. I had never been asked this question. I always thought it was obvious. I guess being stunned with the question brought about brain-freeze (either that or it was the perimenopause). I didn’t answer her properly. This answer is much better:

When I was growing up, young people becoming teenagers entered into a world that revolved around “self," and both nurture and nature stole their innocence and molded them into who they would become, forever. I believe even after 25 years, this is still a common denominator amongst children. It’s all about the way they look, who they hang out with, how talented they are, how intelligent they are, and how much money their parents make. When I entered the 9th grade, I was about to lose all of these things, the latter being the most detrimental to my existence.

There’s something to be said for family. It’s the glue that sticks people together. It’s what makes the band-aid heal the hurt. Without the love of a parent, or even a love of a sibling, a life can be nothing but flesh and blood wandering around on the earth, dazed and confused.

Me and my sisters were abandoned. The courts called it neglect, thus we were passed along to others who were said to be more capable of raising us than our own mother. This, in and of itself, was not just embarrassing, but humiliating and scary too. We went from one home, back home w/ mom, to another home, then to our dad’s, etc., back and forth, pulled like taffy until the age of 18. In the midst of it all, we lost each other.

Tough? Yes. Whine? Never. Instead, I'd rather share my experience, share what I learned -- how to recover from repression, depression, fear and other disorders that tend to leach on and never let go. There are other young adults who can empathize or who need to realize how good they have it. Either way, I know that teens struggle. I want them to know it will be o.k. That growing up doesn’t have to mean the end, because it truly is just the beginning.

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11 peanuts say:

lucypick said...

Interesting perspective.

Martha Reed said...

Beautiful! your writing is just beautiful! I cant wait to read the final copy! Many, many people will benifit from your words of wisdom! Yes ... wisdom!

Todd Morris said...

Hi Rhonda,

It sounds like you have an interesting story to tell. Looking forward to reading more.


Stoney said...

Hey it's me Stoney! I am so well - in awe to put it mildly. Rhonda you have a great talent for writing and you do it so well I think I feel your heart beating as I read each word you write. Great things will happen and I am so glad I can be by your side to watch each great event unvail. Cheers!!!

Terrie S. said...

You have compiled some soul- cleansing stuff! It will be a nice legacy to leave behind you...

Kim said...

I've known since college that you've had a challenging life, but I never prodded and tried to help the best I could when I could. I know this journey will be instrumental in your healing process. I'm with you all the way!! :)

JT said...

It is very well done and I suggest you self publish. This will give you creative control.

Rhonda said...

Well, I often remember having a few foster girls in our home. I am the oldest of 3, very close in age, sisters. I always thought to treat the "new sister" like I would want to be treated. May I add, that I was ALWAYS sad when for whatever reason, that sister was pulled out of our home and place elsewhere. Be it in another home or reunited with her family.

Keep writing! It's a healing power!

Tina in Wonderland said...

Good luck on the book, and I'd love to read it when you're done!

Polly Kahl said...

This sounds like such an inspirational book, Rhonda. I can't wait to read it. Myssuggestion is to make it as good as you can with the support and feedback of other writers. Then get a good agent who will help you find a good publisher. This is the way to get your book out there to the most readers. Keep us posted! You have a good story which a lot of people will relate to and even more will learn from, and since you have survived so well, you're the perfect person to tell it.

Emily, RN, BSN said...

Wow Rhonda. I'm so proud of you for making it through all of this. I'm not really for sure the whole story, but it sounds like you are trucking right through everything. Call me sometime and we'll talk. Love ya!